Fear is why

At the end of every dark path you travel there will always be light- by Aj on Flickr

At the end of every dark path you travel there will always be light- by Aj on Flickr

“At the end of every dark path you travel there will always be light.”
Before jump in the dark path, I can walk away and tell myself that is not what I want to do. After jump in, I need tell myself even if this could be a dead end, I still need to keep going. Because if I am not keep going, I will never know what’s down there; If I am not keep going, I will never know what feels like in the journey, but I knows where the entrance is when I need it.
Because of the uncertain about my career status, it truly made me think about the journey of my life. It hasn’t been easy lately.
Thankfully for those pioneers who shared their journey, it encouraged me look into my challenges and deal with uncertainty, patient and how to quit taking personally . All the articles lead to FEARS. The uncertainty is associated with: afraid to fail, lost, be disappointed; The impatience is associated if my perfect plan will be able to carry out or not; After all, if things not working the way “I” want, then it’s probably “my fault”. YES! That is exactly what I thought when I have a bad day.
Three things I took away from the articles: One, it’s impossible to avoid fears because of our human nature. Two, uncertain is a part of nature and that is the beauty of the world and I need to learn how to be more flexible. Three, practice makes things better: Patience can be improved by practicing and with my mind-set to quit take things personally.
I followed the steps from the “Conquering Uncertainty: How to Overcome Fear of the Unknown”.
1. Identify what made me uneasy
I caught myself become anxious when things out of my hand which means losing the power of control and certainty made me uncomfortable.

2. Deal with it regardless

So, if what happened in the past or in the future out of my control, I seek things I can control. For example, two weeks after my final interview and I haven’t hear from the employer. I did 4 things as follow and it did help me off the hook:

1. Followed up the search committee and see if I can get any clues
2. Put myself back on the job searching
3. Looking for volunteer opportunities to enhance my abilities that some of the jobs required and I am lack of
4. Catch up with friends and family
Especially catch up with friends, they might not offer me a job, but the message “I am available “sent out. Plus, friends and family always are the most important spiritual support for me.
Unfortunately, there is no way I can avoid fears, but truly understand who I am and what is my fears and try to deal with it is the most important lesson that I am working on.
The time I spend in the dark path taught me at least two things: One, the person told me this is a dead end was right. Two, now I have another dead end story to tell!

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Noun.  Firmness of mind or spirit : unyielding courage in the face of hardship or dangerhttp://www.merriam-webster.com

This is the first time after several months since last time I watched TED Talks.

Recently, I have been experiencing career development difficulties, the topic “The key to success? Grit” caught my eye.
Angela Lee Duckworth mentioned grit is passion, perseverance for very long-term goals. Something that you commit to it and make it as a part your life.  From the data she collected, “grit is usually unrelated or even inversely related to measures of talent.”
In other words, grit is a growth mindset and belief: “failure is not a permanent condition, willing to fail, to be wrong, to start over again with lessons learned.”
I think encouragement plays a significant role to learn how to become grittier.  It reminded me how my parents encourage me when I fail. They told me it was all right, if you didn’t let it right this time, learn from the mistakes and work harder next time. However, when I compare myself with others, I am never as good as others, and it makes me depressing.
One of my high school teachers told me: You compare with yourself and improve your weakness with your pace. It’s easier to say than done because have to compare with others to know I am not as good as others. I made a picture to elaborate how to compare with others and at the same time feel better about yourself in the process of reaching your goals.

Compare with myself
Here is my explanation: First of all, not everyone wanting to improve their weakness. Some people just accept who they are and comfortable with where they are as the “Others” in red. Myself compare with others and want to become better than average or the regular standards.
The truth is there are always people better than most of us because we are the majority of common ones, when we use general standards. It is all right. It will motivate us to learn and practice more and become better than who we are now. The tricky part is, we have to remember to compare the future us to the current us. That way, when you look back you can see how much you have improved. It makes the learning and improving process more encouraging. The advantage of having this kind of mindset is to break down bigger goals into smaller steps. It can make you become grittier because the goals are not that far away from now.
At least, so far the method working for me although sometimes I fall into the depressing pitfall and feel that I will “never” achieve what I want to accomplish. So I need to remind myself more often: ONLY compare myself with the past me and moving forward because I will be better tomorrow.

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Today, I was trying to describe a taste, not sweetness, not bitterness, not saltines, not sourness in English, and I couldn’t figure it out. After research, I found the word I need- ASTINGENCY. It is a taste that “contain tannins or calcium oxalate that cause an astringent or puckering sensation of the mucous membrane of the mouth.” There are two more things I learned: A taste from Japanese- Umani and the “tongue map” of taste is an incorrect interpretation of our tongue sensation.


1.Taste: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taste

2. There is no “Tongue Map” of taste: http://sciencebasedlife.wordpress.com/2012/04/03/there-is-no-tongue-map-of-taste/

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This blog is about a first generation of female Asian American settled down in the mid-West at her early 30’s, trying to overcome her language barrier, develop a career and enjoy a new lifestyle. If you are interested read on.

I have been wanting to write my own blog for years. About 7 years ago, I noticed lots of people are writing blogs. I thought if I can also start doing it, it will improve my English, and it’s pretty cool to tell people that I have my own, too. However, after some research, I learned two things and knew I wasn’t capable yet. One, I need a purpose to write a blog; it means there must be a core value or theme. Two, it likes having a pet. I have to take care of it, feed it meaningful words and not letting it die on me.
Therefore, after seven years, I finally figure out what I want to write. It is my own story. Right, everyone can do it, but with a purpose. I want to share my story with others  and encourage them. So far, it hasn’t been easy, but I am lucky enough to get lots of support from family and friends. I want to let others who are facing similar difficulties to know it is just a process, and eventually we will be rewarded by our hard work! Don’t give up yet.

So in my blog you will find my blur and thoughts about:

1. Professional Development:(career building, coaching and networking) my struggles and what I learning from hearing people’s story.
2. Relationships: (the emotional part) family, friends.
3. Hobbies: About food(cooking, baking, and dinning out), photographing and gardening.
4. English learning (how people use a word)
My blog journey begins from here. Cheers!

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